My approach in life is simple: smile when you’re sad the most, laugh when you’re hurt the most… And always remember, you will always be there for yourself!
I’ve been going through the most difficult time in my life, by far, but it is this very attitude that kept me going strong and feeling genuinely happy. Granted, the presence of friends and family who have been very supportive, helped me sustain this attitude. Yet, it is the ultimate satisfaction in the company of myself that made the presence of others a sufficient condition to maintaining this attitude, but not a necessary one.
In this sense, I mean, I have taught my self to insure that my own internal peace and satisfaction is not depended on what others have to offer me in terms of emotional or material support. This is what I like to call satisfaction with one’s own being. This is because, even with the presence of many people around us, we can still fall into the trap of loneliness. Feeling lonely is no pretty feeling. However, it is a feeling that can be avoided, when you realize loneliness is a manifestation of something different than what you understand it to be.
You see, think of it this way: there is no such thing as feeling lonely, it is like seeing the dark. I know this might seem totally blasphemous. But when you’re in a dark room, you can’t see because there is no light rather than because the room is filled with darkness. Darkness doesn’t exist in itself, it is what we call the absence of light. So the real thing that is blocking your vision is the disappearance of light.
In the same way, loneliness is the absence of something rather than a cause of reaction in itself. You feel lonely not because people around you deserted you. You feel lonely because you have lost connection with yourself. So it’s the absence of communication with oneself via understanding/appreciating/accepting it that leads one to feeling lonely. People always come and go, but it is not their absence that leads to dissatisfaction with oneself, but how we feel towards their parting is what affects us the most. When a person leaves you, let it be a friend or a lover or whatever, if you feel like you haven’t done a mistake that broke temporarily/permanently what ever connection you had, you wouldn’t feel lonely and like it’s the end of the world. In this sense, it’s not the parting from others that induces this feeling of loneliness but it is rather your perception of how you reacted/acted and the presence of any impulses of guilt/fault that create this feeling of loneliness. So ultimately, you feel lonely in the absence of self satisfaction/understanding.
So you should always tell yourself: I don’t need people to talk to about anything, I have myself for that. Kindly note that I’m not trying to undermine the importance of the advise of others as you never learn anything from those who only agree with you in opinion. But you need to realize that you know what’s best for you and that no one will look out for you as much as you would do for yourself.
In that sense, one should feel comfortable within their skin. Make peace with yourself. Accept yourself. And most importantly, appreciate yourself for its uniqueness. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. If you love something about it, maintain it and help that attribute/habit flourish. But never underestimate the power of yourself. I know it’s easier said than done. But the first step to change, success or achieving anything is to believe. And there is nothing better to believe in than yourself, because nothing will drive any matter in the direction you desire, but yourself. So you see, the magic word here is yourself.